Not much has been happening on my side.
Nothing blog-worthy for once! :D

Heard that a couple of friends are expecting their 2nd child, they announced it at their son's 1st birthday party on sat.
Just.. wowness... She's 22, and i wonder if she can cope-having 2 kids under the age of 2 years?!

Feels weird, everyone's settling down, buying houses, gettin married, or having kids...
And i'm 1 of the FEW thats just dilly-dallying... LOL!
But then again, i'm studying next year, and i'm gonna do my dream-globetrotting...

By the way, you could say that BS and i are fuckbuddies... *shrugs* There's no emotional attachments. Sad innit? I deserve so much more.. But i put myself in this position... I could break away easily-maybe thats what the attraction is about. Maybe i'm still afraid of committing.. of falling too fast, too deep?

Maybe its too soon?

I'm still missing CB... I'm seeing him fri if not before. Dont have a good feeling about it...
Maybe i like him more than i'm willing to admit...

Sorry everyone, my computer crashed! Its still crashing! I'm grabbing this opportunity to write up a post when it seems to be okay..
So i didnt want to update my blog on friends/public computers.. I treasure my privacy too much! LOL...
Especially now i'm back home, not housesitting/babysitting anymore..

Just a little update on my crazy life...

A couple of you asked me how was the kiss with CB.. It wasnt that great, he reminded me of a washing machine, a very wet one at that! LOL!!!

He and i aren't seeing each other for the moment, after a minor fight about me being too busy or too tired to see him, and him wanting to spend the night at mine/me spending the night at his.
I tried to explain that i wanted to take things really slowly, and that i've been single for too long. Am not used to having to check with another person about plans etc, i'm too used to leading my own life and doing whatever i want, whenever i want...
He doesnt understand that, and keeps asking me for reassurance that i still like him etc, when i'm not even sure if i do. He reminds me of a whiny 5 year old at times-thats another guy i definitely dont need in my life! (for example, when i told him that i wasnt sure if i was into him like he was into me, he replied with "i'm not that into you as you think, no offence" in middle of the argument, then he calms down and says "i'm not good with taking things slow, i scare them off")
So i basically told him that i'd be too busy to see him for the next few weeks, -this is to see how i'd go/feel.
Right now, i'm missing him..
But do i miss HIM, or the sweet/idiotic messages he sends me everyday?
I'm going to see him on this fri i think-when i go to this graduation thing for the AUSLAN students in the group above him. Bit nervous about it actually :S

Now, here goes on the other manchild in my life-BS!! We're still talking to each other. Have made some tentative plans to see each other, but a couple of them have fallen through. Which i didnt mind, but he did-from the sound of his messages.
Am more than probably going to see him this weekend, since i'm visiting my dad and the family for the weekend on the other side of Melbourne. He lives near my dad, so yeah.
He's still heartbroken about LT. Apparently they've made their peace with each other, so thats good. But he's still harping on about her still seeing his enemy-WHATEVER!!! i told him to get over it lol...

OMG!!! I dunno how i could have left this bit of news til now-I got in the TAFE course!!! The one where i thought i fucked up the interview...
Enrolment's in a couple weeks, i'm so excited, classes start at the end of January next year.
i'm going to be doing "Diploma in Community Welfare" :D

After reading Rinna's latest post on Alopecia Areata-which i also have, but in a more aggressive form. I realised i havent really posted anything recent on my progress with it.
What i've got is really called Alopecia Areata Univeralis. Which is the worst kind of Alopecia there is. I've lost hair all over my body, not just my head.
I'm still sticking by my word-not taking any medications, not really changing my diet, or anything like that.
My hair is starting to grow back, dark blonde patches here and there. Its so weird looking in the mirror and seeing those patches. My friends are forever saying "Jeez, how did you get those bruises?!" and when they look closer and find out its actually hair, they go and say "aww, how cute!!"
I dont know if my hair will entirely grow back, and stay like that. Its more than possible that it'll fall out again.
Although its a relief still having my eyelashes. Hair have been growing back all over my body over the recent months, which has been a pain-it meant i've got to start shaving again, after 14 months without! LOL! And i've been finding hair in the most weirdest spots-like my chin, upper lip, and even hair that looks and feels like pubic hair on my arms! Ew!! So i guess i'm gradually moving up on the list and now have got Alopecia Areata Totalis.
It can be stressful living with this disorder, but i've coped alright. But then again, my hair was never important to me :D

I think i've made this post long enough, hoping the next one wont be too far away!

mmmm...

Had my first kiss with CB.. Didnt go that good..
1) He was drunk & stoned
2) it was in a driveway during a barbecue we were at-and people were around (well they were in the backyard, and didnt see anything as far as i know)
He was so cute afterwards though, i disappeared on him-mingling with everyone else. He text messaged me saying "Is there something going on btwn us now?" I didnt reply. When he finally found me-i was sitting on the stairs having a conversation with a few people, he signed "I like you... i mean, i really really like you" and that remark made the ppl i was talking to, smile and then they made excuses to leave, leaving us alone...
I wasnt in the mood, and i told him so. Left him looking bewildered..
Felt like a bitch when i walked off.

BS was at the barbecue too! I nearly shat my pants when i saw him...
Already decided not to continue whatever we were doing, and i think i made it obvious to him. I ignored him, didnt say hi or anything, until i was hugging a friend, who was talking to him. Thats when i said hi, my friend asked me if i had a bit too much to drink (which i did by this stage), i laughed and said yeah. BS jumped in and said 'It feels like everytime i see you ur always drinking' I was like 'well yeah, got a problem with that?' "ur always too fucked to talk to me!" I laughed, then gave him the finger and walked away.

Was talking to another friend-FC at the barbecue, she was a bit upset, because her best friend was doing stuff with the guy she loves. I totally understood what she was going through, so we snuck off and sat in a lounge room, where the kids were playing games, and started talking about everything. Which incuded J and JB as you all know. Then CB and another guy comes in the lounge and sits with us watching the conversation etc. CB didnt even know about the whole thing. I wasnt going to say anything to him about it, and now CB's all "when were you going to tell me?...I think i'm gonna back off, cuz its obvious your not over him.... " etc. I lost it with him saying "look, i was never gonna tell you, because i somehow knew u'd act like this. Wanting to back off, etc.. Thats NOT what i want. JB and i was NEVER together, i have accepted that he's with J now, and i'm trying to move on"
He was like "but i dont wanna hurt you, even though it'll happen by accident, i still want to see you, i just dont know.." i told him that i wasnt a doll, i dont break easily. and all i want from him is to be himself. We left it at that.
What a mess!

I went to a 18th birthday party after the barbecue. I was totally surprised they let me in the place, because i was pretty off my face. Everyone was telling me to slow down and i'm telling them "i'm fine, fuck off i need another Jim Beam!" (and laughing at the same time)..
Went to a gay nightclub after that-it was excellent! Hot guys whoo-hoo! Hahaha!

Blew 100 bucks yesterday-on alcohol, and a massive pig out at KFC on the way home *laughs*
Still feeling seedy right now ugh!

Okay, here's what been happening...

I went home for a few days, cuz i had the information session and an interview fo r the welfare course i'm hoping to get into next year at TAFE (community college).
The information session was excellent.. I'm totally lookin forward to doin the course.. But the interview.. dont think i did so well.. I was nervous.. cuz i had to answer 5 questions in front of others who were applying to do the course as well.. Will be finding out if i get in at the end of next week, so fingers crossed.. but at the same time i dont have my hopes up..

BS-well, as you all know, i slept with him on the weekend.
What happened was: i got a msg from a friend asking me if BS could have my nbr. I was freakin out, cuz i thought BS was gonna tell me something bad (cuz we slept together earlier this year, without protection while hw as on a 'break' from his girlfriend). And we never spoke to each other since. Then now he wants my nbr out of the blue.. U cant blame me for freaking out can ya?! Heh..
All he wanted to know was if everything was cool between us, etc.. Then tells me he broke up with his gf, it looks like its for good this time.. Apparently she dumped him by saying 'i want a guy who'll be a better man than you ever will be'.. Not sure what brought that on, but now he wants to see me, cuz i'm 'a great gal, easy going.. and easy to talk to'
I asked him why did he contact me now, why not earlier? He said that LT (his now x gf) wont forgive and forget what he did to her earlier this year, and that she cant stand seeing me. We've seen each other a few times since then, but never have talked of it. Apparently i'm her "worst nightmare".. not sure what or why.. After all it was just 1 night... And she was fucking 2 other guys when they had the week apart anyway!
But anyways yeah, we saw eachother at the pub, and yeah it led to what happened. Been talking to him all weekend, he's like a little boy in some ways.. Wanting comfort, etc (he's 30 by the way).. Totally heartbroken about LT.. now that she's chasing after his enemy... ("at least he's bigger than you in bed" was 1 of the things she said to him recently)
I'm not allowed to talk to my friends about him, because he doesnt want people to know that we're talking.. Fair enough, and i agree too. I got so much crap from people when they found out about our night together.. (it didnt help that when we did it, we were in an apartment where 7 other people saw, and knew what was happening)...

As for CB-the guy i'm 'sorta' seeing now.. he knows about BS wanting me to be a part of his life, but not about the night we spent together recently. He told me he was confused about his feelings for me, even brought up marriage (i was like "WTF?!" here btw!).. And that there's another chick on the scene, but she lives in another state.. For some reason that makes me want him more. I know it sounds bad, but then again as the saying goes "you always want something you cant have"... We've agreed to continue seeing eachother, see what happens there..

I'm seeing CB this weekend, and BS wants to see me this weekend too!

Craziness!!!!!!

I'll have to make this short..
Will post a longer one within next few days, when not too busy...

Am back at home for a couple days, got this interview for TAFE...

I'm still talking to BS-the guy that belongs in my past, and should have stayed there.. Whoa, very interesting conversations has been happening over the last few days... Wil have to tell all in the longer post..

I'm still seeing B.. We dont know where its gonna head, but have agreed not to become serious, cuz i'm stil going to head over to the UK, alone!!!
He has another chick on the scene.. who lives in another state..
For some reason, that makes me want him even more.. I'm a bitch aint i?!

Outta here, love you all!

Good news: I broke my 10 months drought...
(and it was worth it!)

Bad news: with someone from my past..
(Why do i always do this? When things are going good!)

Sucks to be me right now!